A professor began his class by holding up a glass of water and asking the students, “How much does this weigh?”
The answers ranged from 20g to 500g.
The professor replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter, it depends on how long I try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, my arm will ache. If I hold it up like this for a day I’ll have severe muscle stress, my arm could go numb, paralysis..... you’ll have to call an ambulance for sure. It’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes”.
Children are taunted for being “a cry baby”, women are accused of being “over sensitive” and men are reared to “keep a stiff upper lip”. How cruel to be denied something that is completely natural and healing. I frequently still hear the awful words “I’ll give you something to cry about in a minute” delivered from parent to child.
A persons emotional distress can be very difficult to witness and we can do much in that moment to ease or compound that distress. Often our own discomfort or fear of that distress causes us to try and 'rescue' and/or 'calm down' that person but in so doing we frequently make the situation much worse.
The Chronicle, Friday, 25th February 2005
ADVISOR OFFERS TO HELP PARENTS CHANGE 'CHILDREN FROM HELL'
Sandbach parents are being offered the chance to hone their skills with the help of a positive parenting programme recently featured on national television. The programme is the result of 25 years of research and aims to make parenting enjoyable and rewarding by instilling more confidence in parents and children.
Local parenting advisor Joy Hazlehurst was asked to appear on I.T.V.'s “Granada Reports” to give parent tips on getting through the half term holiday and to share her thoughts on television’s many parenting programmes, tying in with the launch of a research project by Manchester University.
We are, without doubt, living in difficult times on a personal and global level. Many people refuse to watch the news or read newspapers for fear of it dragging them down. Many individuals are struggling financially, either through unemployment, losing their jobs or being overloaded due to workplace downsizing; relieved they still have employment but imploding under the pressure of carrying the extra workload once done by colleagues now made redundant. The disproportionate rise in cost-of-living to wages. Plus a diversity of personal and family issues that frequently come along to test us: abuse, bereavement, bullying (at home or in the workplace), illness, family breakdown, relationship worries, moving house/area. Phew, no wonder people come into counselling struggling with depression, anxiety, stress, low-self esteem, insomnia, exhaustion etc., and so forth.
You cannot touch it but it affects the way you feel.
.....You cannot see it but it's there when you look at yourself in the mirror.
..........You cannot hear it but it's there every time you talk about yourself.
...............What is this important and mysterious thing?
....................It's called your self-esteem.
As a driver I like to keep my car clean, have it serviced regularly, check the oil and tyre pressure and make sure I have enough petrol. Then I can relax and feel I have done everything possible to ensure safe, smooth journeys.
Our journey through life will run more smoothly and comfortably if we check the different parts of ourselves.
The four tyres represent the four aspects of our Self:
~ ~ ~ Mental, Physical, Emotional and Spiritual ~ ~ ~
Most of us journey through life with them unbalanced.
It always saddens me when youngsters are involved in adult disputes. Details of separation and divorce is not their business and they should ideally be left to enjoy a good relationship with both their parents; whether they all live under one roof or two separate ones. How and what we tell our children at these nightmare times will largely depend on their age but never discuss personal reasons with them, all they need to know is that you have agreed to split up.
I frequently get enquiries about children who are angry and displaying aggressive behaviour. The parent is at their wits end having tried everything in their power to stop the outbursts, the school is threatening to exclude the child and with this there are many fears and fantasies about the youngsters’ future.
Just as with adults it is important to teach the child that anger (the feeling) is a natural emotion telling us something is wrong but the aggression (behaviour) is not an OK way of expressing it.
Asperger's Syndrome tends to be a high functioning condition on the Autistic Spectrum displaying such positive traits as honesty, reliability, dedication and determination.
Tony Attwood has described Asperger's Syndrome as “a different way of approaching life, one that is dominated by knowledge and truth”. He also says that great advances in science and art have been attributable to people thought to have had Aspergers Syndrome ...
Albert Einstein, Alfred Hitchcock, Bill Gates, Charles Darwin, Sir Isaac Newton, Ludwig Van Beethoven, Michael Jackson, Michael Palin, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Mozart, and Gary McKinnon (the "biggest military computer hacker of all time") the list is endless.
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