Anger Management

Anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. It is part of our evolutionary heritage and forms a component of the 'Fight or Flight' reflex which has helped our species survive. When we become angry the fight or flight hormones, such as adrenaline and noradrenaline are released, giving us extra energy, strength and stamina. The problem is that these chemicals tend to suppress the rational parts of our minds allowing instinctive reactions to take over.

This gives an important clue to managing anger. Once the 'fight' hormones are pumping through our bodies we have less control, so the time to control anger is before it takes over.  This is the basis of the advice to 'count to ten'. By avoiding instant reaction to situations that could trigger anger we allow time for the immediate hormonal reaction to settle down and the thinking brain to catch up.

Mastering anger

There are a number of reasons why anger can get out of control and become a problem. A counsellor or psychotherapist who is  neutral and impartial can help you to discover these reasons. Examples of reasons for getting angry include:

• Displacement - getting angry at family members instead of the person you're really angry with (perhaps the boss at work).
• Habit - people who grow up in families that express a lot of anger learn to do the same themselves, and possibly never question whether this is the best way to handle situations.
• Making excuses - seeing one's own anger as justified because of other people's behaviour.
• Suppression - Some people bottle up their anger, not dealing with it until it emerges explosively, and they 'go up like a bottle of pop'.
• Stress - some people are perpetually wound up like coiled springs, unable to relax. Sooner or later that pent-up energy has to burst out.
• Erroneous beliefs - perhaps we see nothing wrong with our anger, particularly if it enables us to control others and get our own way.

Discovering the reasons for your anger can be a big step forward in mastering it. Once you understand it you can take action to deal with it more constructively, perhaps by being assertive rather than angry, by using physical exercise to discharge pent-up feelings, or by learning to relax.