Crying is Good For Us

I can understand why some people may prefer to cry in private; streaming mascara, runny nose and bright red eyes but please NOT because you’ve been led to believe it is shameful or weak.  Crying is a normal human response, a temporary internal and external release of pain, a brilliant design to help us eliminate our anguish.  Give yourself permission to cry in order to cope with a distressing situation.  Bottling up tears just prolongs the suffering and it can heighten tension plus anxiety.  Allowing the tears to flow is facing the distress, not running away from it, as Shakespeare said “To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”

Biochemist William Frey, who studied tears and their function, says that “emotional tears (from sadness, anger, fear, etc.) actually remove toxins from the body.  On the other hand, tears of joy or happiness contain far fewer biological by products.  It is not an exaggeration to say that crying can keep you healthy.”  If tears come when you are on a bus, in the supermarket, at work, see them as your friend.  In fact never miss an opportunity to shed tears and notice how  tears plus laughter can often go hand in hand, sometimes together; they are dual gifts to be given high priority in all types of healing.

There are three types of tears: 
~ Basal tears, which continually lubricate the eye.
~ Reflex tears, when chopping onions or being physically hurt.
~ Emotional tears, because of psychological pain.
There is some evidence that the different types of tears have differing chemical and hormonal compositions.
(Frey & Langseth 1985, Van Haeringen 1981)

A small study was done by Russell Friedman & John W. James of the Grief Recovery Institute on whether there was a gender distinction relating to crying.  They found that up to the age of five there was no distinction between little boys and little girls, leading to the conclusion that society, not gender, was the key factor in differences of attitude and expression regarding crying.

If you really do struggle to cry then allow those pent up feelings to come out by: 
-  Writing down what you are feeling, paint or draw what you sense the feeling looks like. 
-  Watch a sad film or listen to stirring music. 
-  Go for a walk in the country; nature is incredibly healing. 
-  Join a cause; many people who have gone through major trauma start amazing charitable campaigns to help others. 
-  Talk to a counsellor about your distress and feelings of negativity around those healing tears.

Joy Hazlehurst is a Counsellor at The Hope Street Centre.

If you would like to book an appointment with her please call: 0788 196 6122.